The Way News Reporters Write These Days....

Headlines! Headlines!! Headlines!!!

Reporting is all about the headlines now, a lot less about the stories themselves. Have you noticed how you read some very alarming headlines only to read the story and let out a loud hiss from the bottom of your heart? The funny thing is that it seems to happen more frequently all the time now. I found this story/joke about how reporters come up with headlines now, and I just can't disagree!

You really can't afford to judge a book (or in this case, a story) by it's cover.

A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”

The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.”

The reporter says, “Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies, I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page: “U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH”

….and that's pretty much sums up the media’s approach to the news these days…

Cover image via Techaffect