Wednesday, 29 July 2015

The Musings Of A Pained Man - Lagos Palaver!



Lagos is home to a lot of people who totally love it (and some people who really don't love it at all) . Some people fondly call it Lasgidi (or just Gidi sometimes), but some of the things that go on there can stress you out. I found this on the Facebook wall of a friend and I couldn't help laughing. This idea of running when nothing is chasing you (or when what is chasing you is only in your mind) can cause injury o. Read the poor guy's ordeal after the cut.
This Lagos sef don tire me. Jeje I was sitting in my car on a very long fuel queue from the Mobil in Maryland. This queue was almost getting to Anthony bus stop. It was one of those days when there was no fuel at all. 
Suddenly na him I see one guy run past my car with jerry can in one hand shouting “won ti bere oooooo”I quickly jumped out of my car opened my booth, got my jerry can and ran after him. 
He kept on running towards Maryland. When he got to the filling station he shouted again “won ti bere oooo” this in yoruba actually means ‘they have started oooooo’. He ran past the filling station and headed towards Sheraton hotel. Those that know this area will understand the distance. 
I tried to run faster to catch up and ask Kini won bere? Meaning “what have they started?” But this boy ran faster. I looked back and I saw like 6 people had joined us everybody with jerry can in one hand. 
We continued past Sheraton and headed towards Ikeja bus stop. When we got to Ikeja bus stop he shouted again “won ti bere oooooo”…and continued running we all continued asking each other ‘wetin happen’ but nobody seemed to know as we chased after him. 
Finally we got to oshodi isale and he shouted again by this time we were like 40 people running after him all of us with jerry can in one hand. He shouted again ‘won ti bere oooooo!!!!!!’ He continued running towards iyana Isolo and finally after getting to iyana Isolo he stopped and we were all gasping for breath both men and women, some with pot bellies, I moved close to him and asked “Kini won bere?” 
He answered Chelsea ati Arsenal ni, won ti bere match!! I fainted.

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