[Must Read] Single Folks Club - Dealing With Parental And Societal Pressure

We live in a society where friends, and even parents begin to pressurize you when you reach a certain age and are still unmarried. Unfortunately, this pressure drives quite a lot of people into abusive and destructive relationships and marriages that they regret at the end on the day. Of course, the parents and friends that put up the pressure are not as affected. 

Popular psychologist and Lagos socialite, Doktor Joro Olumofin has written a new article titled "12 bouquets and 15 dresses". It's very enlightening. Read it after the cut.

This Article is inspired by a friend of mine who caught the bouquet 12 times and was also a bridesmaid 15 times; she’s newly married and asked me to write this so some ladies can learn from her experience of being pressured by family and society to stop attending weddings and buying “aso-ebi”, with some friends making fun of her and calling her “27 dresses” in reference to the Hollywood movie.

There are certain cultural, societal and parental pressures or stereotypes associated with a lady who is single and very active at a lot of her friends weddings, engagements etc. but the irony is that when a lady who is single & searching isn’t socially active she’s criticized for not putting herself out there.

These pressures mentioned above sometimes can derail or put a dent in some peoples personality or self-worth.

For example PARENTAL PRESSURE: Some Nigerian parents put both direct and indirect pressure on their children in relations to marriage and weddings ; some parents make comments like

(1) All your friends are married you’re busy buying Aso-ebi every weekend

(2) You keep bringing souvenirs home, when will we share yours?

(3) if u put this much effort from planning Tola's wedding into your life you’ll be married by now. 

CULTURAL/SOCIETAL PRESSURE: Friends and Associates most times have an opinion about how many weddings you attend, some friends even calculate how much you spend on tailors, shoes and Gele in preparation for a wedding, criticize you for coming out on wedding blogs or magazines and make fun and give nicknames (27 Dresses, Ms Asoebi , Chairlady of Gele Affairs) etc. 

All these variables and comments may be hurtful and sometimes a burden but your life is your life and not for anyone to please. 

From a Psychological standpoint anyone whose personality is easily changed or pressured to change for issues which aren’t malignant in nature isn’t fully developed or self-confident. 

Live your life based on what makes you happy and what is beneficial to you not the norms or standards that society has created.. #Doktormofin