I have been a teacher at some point myself, so I know that one of the best times in a teacher's life is when it's time to mark test/exam scripts (provided they are not too many). It's always a great time because you get so much comic relief from reading student's amazingly creative answers. I remember thinking students either don't want to leave blank spaces on their test papers or just like to play smart with the weird answers they come up with. The answers to the questions below will definitely give you something to laugh about. Indeed, teachers are living the good life - it's humour on demand!
1. Define the word “monotony.”
Monotony is being married to the same person all your life.
2. What does the word “benign” mean?
Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Technology
3. What is a turbine?
Something an Arab wears on his head.
Religious Instruction
4. Who did not welcome the return of the prodigal son?
The fatted calf.
Geography
5. Name the four seasons.
Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
6. Name a greenhouse gas. What could be done to decrease global warming?
Cows make large amounts of methane when they fart. This could be reduced by fitting them with catalytic converters.
7. How is dew formed?
The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
8. What is a planet?
A body of earth surrounded by sky.
9. What causes the tides in the oceans?
The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Biology
10. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
11. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
Premature death.
12. How can you delay milk turning sour?
Keep it in the cow.
13. Briefly describe the skeleton and its function in the body.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch the meat onto.
The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
15. What is a terminal illness?
When you are sick at the airport.
Botany
16. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Chemistry
17. What is a supersaturated solution?
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
Cover image via Studentadvisor.com
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