Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Diary Of The New Wife


If you are yet to read these 6 odd entries into a very interesting new wife's diary, I have to ask, just where have you been? Well, you know I wave it ready for you, but before you start, kindly take note of this quick warning: this stuff is so hilarious, you just might pee in your underwear.


Monday: We are back from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Chuka . Today I made moin moin and the recipe said, 'Beat 12 eggs separately.' Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The moin moin turned out fine though.

Tuesday: We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, 'Serve without dressing'. So I didn't dress. But Chuka happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them. I think it was the salad.

Wednesday: I decided to serve rice and found a recipe, which said, 'Wash thoroughly before steaming d rice'. So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the
rice. Sounded kind of silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it improved d rice anyhow.

Thursday: Today Chuka asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, prepare ingredients, and then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.' I hunted all over the place for a garden with a bed of lettuce and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Chuka came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed at work; I'll try to be supportive.

Friday: Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, 'Put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it'. Beat it I did, to my mother's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again; it looked the same as when I left it.

Saturday: Chuka went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and its little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Chuka saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work, or he wanted the chicken to dance. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out 'Why me? Why me?'

I am always in stitches by the time I reach the end every single time I read this piece. Dear men, may you not be in Chuka's shoes. Lol.

Author unknown


cover image via moms kitchen handbook. com

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