When Love Became Quantum Physics

Today, on his Facebook wall, a friend shared this thought: "I think these days there are too much lectures on relationship/marriage issues. On TV, radio, Internet, religious houses, and through any medium possible. They all focus on what couples are doing or are not doing or should be doing. All of a sudden, romance has become quantum physics. So difficult and complicated a subject."

I smiled when I read that, and then gave it some thought. I think the subject of love has always been something humans have found rather complicated and difficult. Its just that there has been a lot more talk about it recently. However, if you think of it, there has been a lot more talk about anything and everything recently. Everyone wants to talk, wants to have their voices heard, or simply even hear the sound of their own voices! There has been something said about every single subject you can think of. Run a Google search of something as silly as 'how to poop' and you'll see so many results come up. Love and romance is just another one of the many topics that makes for interesting discussions and online trends.

That aside, its also true that people seem to be losing what understanding they had of love faster and faster these days. Relationships are changed with the ease and frequency of changing clothes now. Fewer and fewer people have the word called 'commitment' in their dictionaries and as more and more people unthinkable things these days, there is more to talk about on the issue of romance. Why are modern relationships so hard now? These excerpts share some insight on this:

We’re not prepared. We’re not prepared for the sacrifices, for the compromises, for the unconditional love. We’re not ready to invest all that it takes to make a relationship work. We want everything easy. We’re quitters. All it takes is a single hurdle to make us crumble to our feet. We don’t let our love grow, we let go before time. 

We look for instant gratification in everything we do – the things we post online, the careers we choose, and the people we fall in love with. We want the maturity in a relationship that comes with time, the emotional connect that develops over years, that sense of belonging when we barely even know the other person. Apparently, nothing’s worth our time and patience – not even love. 

We'd rather spend an hour each with a hundred people than spending a day with one. We believe in having ‘options’. We’re ‘social’ people. We believe more in meeting people than getting to know them. We’re greedy. We want to have everything. We get into relationships at the slightest attraction and step out, the moment we find someone better. We don’t want to bring out the best in that one person. We want them to be perfect. We date a lot of people but rarely give any of them a real chance. We’re disappointed in everyone. 

Technology has brought us closer, so close that it’s impossible to breathe. Our physical presence has been replaced by texts, voice messages, snapchats and video calls. We don’t feel the need to spend time together anymore. We have too much of each other already. There’s nothing left to talk about.

My final thoughts are these: love and romance may very well now be subjects as complicated as quantum physics or rocket science; but only because we ourselves made it so. The solution lies in reevaluating our modern value systems. 

What do you think?

Cover image via Capitalfm.co.ke